Watch Where You Step: Danger! Will Robinson!
(Cue the theme from “Dragnet”) The following story is true and happened some time ago in an office while physically distant, not aesthetically far from yours. The names have been withheld to “respect my privacy.” This story should demonstrate how a simple piece of packaging can turn into a deadly weapon.
Thapson
Submission of Evidence
Submitted is the image of the suspect in this story. Don’t let the innocent appearance fool you. It looks quite tame and friendly as it sits on a desk in this mug shot.
“…the names have been withheld to ‘respect my privacy’…”
Here’s another shot of the suspect from another angle, sporting a rather harmless look as it sits serenely on the desk. But so do mass murderers, once they’ve been “cleaned up” and dressed in a nice suit!
The “Crime Scene”
I hereby recreate the scene of the crime with the suspect not looking so harmless this time. See how cleverly it hides, rendering itself almost invisible to the “naked” (pardon my risqué language) eye waiting patiently for its prey with a repulsive level of malice stored to the brim within its disgustingly merciless mind!
To drive home the matter further, and ensure the elimination of any degree of doubt in the minds of the jury, I submit another image. Once again the suspect, lies in wait, hidden, and filled with nothing but evil, evil, and more evil….. The story continues…
How “It Happened”
And below is the “aha” image! Recreated for you, is the scene, rather, the act of the crime as it was committed. The victim is played by yours truly as, yes indeed, he was the intended victim of the disgusting, dastardly deed (also we couldn’t find any other actor handsome enough to play the character). Notice the sheer skill and dexterity with which the utterly unforgivable, and unspeakably ignominious umbrage is executed by the suspect in entrapping the victim’s feet ensuring it anchors the left one, while the right foot is ensnared in a lasso like grip. See how cleverly the left foot is used to prevent the further forward movement of the right one, to ensure a nasty downfall of the intended victim onto the hard, unforgiving floor of a corporate office.
The Intention?
The intention of this utterly depraved mind was to bring your innocent, unsuspecting scribe, hard to his knees and, if successfully done, break them! Makes your stomach crawl doesn’t it? If it wasn’t for the super-deftness, sheer athleticism, and incomparable nimbleness, of one who knows how to keep cool under fire, this story would have had a tragic end. As it turns out, yours truly (notice, no names used) was able to correct himself quicker than a supercomputer on steroids, and only received a quick jolt that left him “shaken, but not stirred …”
The Incident Recorded
Yours truly then quickly whipped out the camera he always carries in his armory of equipment, and immediately recreated the scene, for future reference and education. Sorry for the crumpled pants, they do need an ironing, but I’m sure you’ll agree the shoes have the minimum required shine to qualify me to the respectable “brotherhood of gentlemen.” The suspect was meted out “instant justice” and banished to the dustbin, hopefully never to return and repeat this extremely vile act!
The Moral of the story? Please be careful when disposing off packing material, office waste, or any other objects, anywhere, because it could turn into a weapon, however harmless it may appear at first.
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